Reality Check

who will i run to, who will i turn to, now that you left me behind, who will dry my tears when i cry

4am to the airport... saw da jie queuing up and waiting for her turn to check in... da jie and her 2 friends went. alex went too.. before going to the airport.. i did not even sleep... ever since 10am i woke up all the way till 4am... not at all... stayed up all night... thinking of all the happy memories... and the next thing i knew.. it was time to bade farewell to her already... at the airport actually i was trying to control.. i joked... i laughed... i tried all ways not to make myself look sad but the moment my sister's tear dropped.. i couldn't take it anymore... tears just rolled... rolled... rolled... rolled... i really miss her...

did not go to school today.. was mentally and physically exhausted... mr koh called me. MR KOH I WILL GIVE YOU LETTER OK i promise... ):

she's only 17! and she has to go all the way to canada all ALONE. ALONE in a foreign country. all alone in the airplane... all alone....... ): i still can remember how she looked when she entered the deparure gate... went in.. proceeded to her plane... that look; sadness.. lost.. fear..
it was hurting... very hurting.. the fact that i cannot see her for 1 year is really very torturing... i know this might sound silly.. but the bond between me, my sisters and my cousin is just unbreakable. its very strong.. and for my cousin to just leave like this suddenly... (we only knew it 2 days ago) its really a very big impact to me... i'm really worried for her.. i'm really scared that something will happen to her... canada is not as safe as singapore i know... i just really pray that God will bless her throughout her whole journey.. and i know while im typing this.. da jie is in the plane.. i wonder what is she doing now.. is she ok? will she be alright...

DA JIEEEEEEEE ))))): i know its gonna be real tough for her. a real life challenge that she has to go through first hand. while in singapore, i have my friends, my family and already im crying like %!!#@%!. how about da jie? she must be feeling worst...

i guess.. all i can do right now is to motivate her. support her. make her feel loved and that we still care for her.. and one more thing.. although i may or may not look happy in school/class etc. deep within me.. you'll never find the same germaine anymore... at least... until i get over this ordeal...