Reality Check

screw every single subject that i am taking.

i feel that im such a failure.. this term's PPR is gonna be something which will really disappoint my parents.. as well as myself.. i just don't know why.. maybe its my recent activities outside school.. im failing MOST of my subjects like no one cared. Pure chem. Chinese. A math. E math. this is definetely not what i expected. big no-no. well.. at least one teacher BOTHERED to ask me whats going on. and its a lady teacher.. hah. i am really struggling in my Pure subjects now.. chem and physics seems almost inpossible to pass; almost impossible to pass for my EOY. 6 more weeks and its the start of EOY. wake up time? how can. when there's no time given. 1 week sept holiday you can say. but during that whole freaking week, i have to go to NYP and do a competition. what the hell is wrong with them?! 1 week is suppose to be for us to catch up and instead of giving us time to catch up, more workload is given. !@$%!$! super pissed.

must specially thank Jolynn today. and sorry for making you worried about me in chinese class. all that tearing and stuff. really. i appreciate it alot. thanks (:

too many things happening at once. i feel emotion-less. yes i bet if bestie sees this im gonna get a lecture from her again but really.. too much.. enough is enough.. im really trying my very best to pass my chinese and yet just one paper. ONE freaking paper is enough to make me have a RED MARK in my PPR for chinese. i like the fact that my partner in class is someone capable but at times, she's just too self-centered sad to say, to even bother about me.. well maybe im bothering her too much.. but at least she tells me something??! :/

well, im trying to motivate myself to study harder so i did the following things:

1. changed my pencil box to pink hello kitty
2. try to have as many pink things as possible

hah this may sound real childish but i guess only this sorta things can motivate me now.. i know its really time for me to wake up from my "dream". stop thinking so much about other things and just concentrate. saying is easy but doing is much more challenging i suppose. speaking without action is nothing. (or something like that?) AHHHHH ): stress. so many things happening.. too many infact. i need to go to church!!!!! yes i shall.

i figured that my time management is really very weak. i can't manage my time well sad to say. like now. i planned to do my work but here i am blogging and chatting on MSN. ridiculous aint it? but thats me. can anybody help????

ok now to the positive side. i need to thank alot of people! first, to cheer me up: Gabriel, Jolynn, Brevian.. should be all.. YELUN! JACK! thanks for trying to help me out with.. *ahem* cannot say out but you guys know it. thanks ahhh (: yelun; sorry for that headache i caused you :/ jack; dont feel guilty luh! at least you bothered to try and rack your 2-years-never-really-studied brain of yours. thanks.

i see a glass that's half empty staring at right back at me.